"All men are pigs!" A phrase that for months now, you are still repeating with your friends. The reason? You recently split up or you have failed to keep a long term relationship. Of course, even more frustrating is the fact that you find yourself at a family party or wedding where relatives have begun their indiscreet questions about whether you are still single or when are you going finally make the big decision to get married.
The result: you are becoming more desperate. You try to groom yourself at every opportunity, you buy new clothes, start going to the gym and take great steps to find your other half. With each failed attempt you search for the reason as to why you're still alone and what mistakes you made. The mistakes; What mistakes? The mistakes of the others of course! You cannot understand why this man has decided to depart as well. He only wanted to spend a small fraction of his time with you? Who can you blame? Is it time to confront reality?
1. You place too much emphasis on appearances.
You really wished to have a relationship with the handsome guy you see every day in the gym ... He is fit, has shiny hair, a nice smile and sexy tattoos on his arms. Surely you would make the perfect couple. Sure - why not? His perfect looks will make it so? Do "perfect" looks make a "perfect" couple? and further on that nobody is perfect! What would a perfect couple actually entail? You might find yourself better matched with a less athletic man - who makes you laugh with his jokes and whose company is enjoyable. Yes, the guy that you don't notice at first glance, but if you take a moment to think and look beyond first appearances you will see just how much further you are able to go with them. Just give him a chance. You never know!
2. You are in too much of a hurry to get to know him.
You start dating and everything is going well. You should be careful as it is this moment that you can easily fall into the trap of become too pressing. You want to learn more things about even as it has only been a few days since the first date. With such little time together do you really think he will feel comfortable telling you all his secrets? Be careful not to destroy the progress you have made! If you press too far too soon today by tomorrow he begin avoiding your phone calls and find excuses to cancel the next date. Do not ask and wonder why! You scared him off and he will choose to keep some distance from you.
3. You are pretending to be someone else.
Surely the first impression is the most important. But by starting with exaggerations and lies - you have set your self up for failure - when the masks fall away and he comes to the truth he will be disappointed. Show your true character - don't be afraid! Enjoy the moment try not be scared enjoy the moment and don't be afraid of doing something that will upset him. Don't you want the same from him?
4. You are being overly selective by looking for "Mr. Perfect".
Is your process for partner selection overly selective? Finding a guy with some predefined selection criteria is a recipe for disappointment as this is both unlikely and more precisely impossible. Try to make small concessions and stop resting on absolutes. Love a person for what he is and yes DO make compromises. You can have great moments without the "Mr. Perfect" you have been looking for, for so long.
5. You are always available.
He calls you and you instantly answer the phone. He asked you for a date half an hour ago and you canceled the appointment you had with your friends to go out with him. Moreover, are afraid to disagree with him no matter the issue or point of conversation? You should be less desperate to please. Try to maintain a balance and let him pursue you. Anyway he is the male give him the satisfaction of the chase and he will be happy when he will finally has you. Why don't you play hard to get? - It works.